Dupatta Mera...

This past weekend I managed to watch Pakeezah (1972), read and watch Memoirs of a Geisha.

It is such a surprise that I came across three very impressive classics about very attractive women who thought they were void from inside, who knew there should be more to life, who understood passion, who felt love, who knew their hearts. In case you are wondering what the surprise is, I never gave these things much attention, that is, until now.

I have always been aware of my emotions, able to distinguish what I wanted from what I didn’t. But I’m obliged to change my feelings now. I have always been safe in my world or should I say I have always been protected. Being under care all day everyday is not my idea of the best life I can ever have but I cannot disagree that my world was mapped out for me even before I knew life and perhaps, that is why I have been the one who enjoys classics and not the one who is a part of many more unsaid, unnoticed classics. May be I never knew my emotions or myself after all. May be I’ll never get to know me or what I want like these women. I had been so sure of life until now that I would not know how to carry myself in the world of uncertainty, outside my doors waiting for me to take steps and pass the threshold of protection. Enough about me for now, let’s give these characters the tribute they deserve.

These women who were trained to bring any man to his knees were destined to tie their emotion in one and keep it away so no one would ever come across it, not even themselves. Is it not an irony that those who were used by prominent men to take pain out of their systems were not allowed to acknowledge their own pain? They had to fulfill their heart’s increasing appetite just by enjoying the attention they got and hoping that they will find their coveted love one day or another. Oh how I could feel what Sayuri would have felt when she had to shift her attention to Nobu when actually it was Chairman who she wanted to be entertaining. Poor Sayuri did not even have the choice of who she would entertain. Poor voices, poor choices, poor lives, poor everything but their dreams. The magnificent world they carried within themselves accessorized with their hopes and dreams made the stories I can never forget. For me they are just another me tricked by circumstances. It is like works of arts are set loose among us so we can relate to them but it is up to us to choose which one we can relate to most. I relate to the ones that keep me aware of what it would be like if I lost all my dreams. Not a very pleasant way to think of arts but how can one help it when one knows world is not a safe and certain place after all. I am thinking they were just as sure of their lives at one point as I am today of mine. I hope I am not making a mistake in being sure of what I want today because if tomorrow I look myself at the mirror and not see the contentment of being right all along, I will not recognize myself.

I could not be more surprised at what I’ve written because it is so not me. Probably the classics have the exact effect on me their writers/directors wanted them to have on people. On a lighter note, I am still trying to find the real meaning behind the song Dupatta Mera….. It can’t be just about someone snatching her veil.

Right now in love with: my choice to read the book and then watch the movie.

A day in my life (Part 1)

I wake up at 6 o’ clock in weekdays and sleep until eleven or sometimes even twelve in weekends. First thing I do after I get up is get fresh, like everyone else. This does not necessarily mean that I am fresh every morning. A cold shower is the ultimate solution to wake me up but I prefer showers at night (helps me sleep well) and moreover, I like taking my time when it comes to things like these.

I get ready and go to college. I usually have spare time so I spend sometime with computers in library; check my emails, my boyfriend’s email (oops), read e-newspaper and all that. Then I head to my English lecture. If I am lucky enough and my classroom is not chilly, I go to one of the last seats where I can hide behind huge football players so that the professor won’t see me and catch up on my sleeping. If not, I grudge and still manage to get some sleep. I know it is not the right thing to do but all we talk about is designs, interfaces, improvements and it is an english class. So much for being accepted into such a great TECH university. Word of advice – stay away from technical universities as long as possible. They will expect you to think and make you think a lot.

By 9-ish I am fully awake and absorbed by my English professor’s articulate lecture. He looks like he is 24 and he is a professor. I sometimes wonder if he is as funny with his wife who he mentioned once. His comic timing reminds me of my boyfriend, kind of. After I get out of that class, I usually walk around with my friends. I used to hang out with this cool girl but I don’t know what happened between us so I am stuck with two guys now. It is not they are not fun, just that I feel comfortable around girls. Student center is the best place to hang out because I can savor the beauty of a warm and sunny day. Little things like nice weather, not having to wait for too long in queue, a good book I can read and be amused make me happy. Oh, I am in love with everyone and everything.

I didn’t think a day would be so long to put into paper. May be I will get back to it tomorrow and it will buy me some more time to think about what to write next. Not that I expect a huge number of readers already but being on the safe side won’t hurt either ;).

I can’t wait to write my next blog.

Thank you for reading.

I finally start a blog

Here I am now. Finally I figured out how to start a blog and am excited about it. I hope I can write anything in here.May be i should change the title, it looks a bit long but hey it is my first day and I have plenty of time to improve.
Okay, so my layout looks amazing- all pink. I am not a very pink-liking-person but this time the contrasts of these 'pinks' caught my attention. Whoever designed the layout has a good taste of colors.
I have checked my profile couple of times already and I still want to. I mean it is my first blog . May be it is everybody or its just me (hopefully not).
Hoping for good time writing my feelings.