This past weekend I managed to watch Pakeezah (1972), read and watch Memoirs of a Geisha.
It is such a surprise that I came across three very impressive classics about very attractive women who thought they were void from inside, who knew there should be more to life, who understood passion, who felt love, who knew their hearts. In case you are wondering what the surprise is, I never gave these things much attention, that is, until now.
I have always been aware of my emotions, able to distinguish what I wanted from what I didn’t. But I’m obliged to change my feelings now. I have always been safe in my world or should I say I have always been protected. Being under care all day everyday is not my idea of the best life I can ever have but I cannot disagree that my world was mapped out for me even before I knew life and perhaps, that is why I have been the one who enjoys classics and not the one who is a part of many more unsaid, unnoticed classics. May be I never knew my emotions or myself after all. May be I’ll never get to know me or what I want like these women. I had been so sure of life until now that I would not know how to carry myself in the world of uncertainty, outside my doors waiting for me to take steps and pass the threshold of protection. Enough about me for now, let’s give these characters the tribute they deserve.
These women who were trained to bring any man to his knees were destined to tie their emotion in one and keep it away so no one would ever come across it, not even themselves. Is it not an irony that those who were used by prominent men to take pain out of their systems were not allowed to acknowledge their own pain? They had to fulfill their heart’s increasing appetite just by enjoying the attention they got and hoping that they will find their coveted love one day or another. Oh how I could feel what Sayuri would have felt when she had to shift her attention to Nobu when actually it was Chairman who she wanted to be entertaining. Poor Sayuri did not even have the choice of who she would entertain. Poor voices, poor choices, poor lives, poor everything but their dreams. The magnificent world they carried within themselves accessorized with their hopes and dreams made the stories I can never forget. For me they are just another me tricked by circumstances. It is like works of arts are set loose among us so we can relate to them but it is up to us to choose which one we can relate to most. I relate to the ones that keep me aware of what it would be like if I lost all my dreams. Not a very pleasant way to think of arts but how can one help it when one knows world is not a safe and certain place after all. I am thinking they were just as sure of their lives at one point as I am today of mine. I hope I am not making a mistake in being sure of what I want today because if tomorrow I look myself at the mirror and not see the contentment of being right all along, I will not recognize myself.
I could not be more surprised at what I’ve written because it is so not me. Probably the classics have the exact effect on me their writers/directors wanted them to have on people. On a lighter note, I am still trying to find the real meaning behind the song Dupatta Mera….. It can’t be just about someone snatching her veil.
Right now in love with: my choice to read the book and then watch the movie.
4 comments:
We all are hopelessly poor on everything (no matter even if you are filthy rich, still you are poor somewhere) except the dream. And I think our dreams motivates us to live.
If we continue living our dreams, we can achieve what we want. Look at Sayuri. At last, she's with Chairman.
What i am writing here. I don't know. It's not me, may be just felt like writing whatever comes in mind.
but real meaning behind Dupatta mera: don't know.
I know.. i hope i dont have to see my dreams shattering like a thin glass.
i feel happy for sayuri too but not the kind of happiness i should've felt. i guess it's okay, being happy for her is the least i can do except the crying and suffering from her story. yes, i cry when i read and cry even more when i watch movies. i am crazy like that.
i still have not found the real meaning behind it but im not gonna give up.
"For me they are just another me..." hmm...i kno u too are trained the way they are and already destined the enigmatic end point of which i know u are sure enough.Make sure..your dupatta gets hold of a single face.. which u come across everyday in the morning, may be in your mirror,..or just "HIM", whoever it is!!!!!!
dear anon..
you are the first anonymous commenter in my blog. feel free and make yourself at home (even though i doubt you will ever come across this reply).
i am not trained i am just the way i am and luckily for me, i think i have what it takes to be one of them if i wanted to. i am bored of looking into my face every morning, i think i need a change on that department. i need a "HIM" to be there for me avery morning.
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